Pag's Bag

15884 © PAG’S BAG By Don Read
In 1782 in downtown Genoa
Mamma Paganini had a son, don’ta you knowa
When he was six he was a real virtuoso
He proclaimed, “On violin I am the greatest- only more so”
At eight years old he wrote a nice cantata
For the French he coined the famous Franc Sonata (speak “That’s not strictly true, we made that bit up”)
He was so prolific
People said, “He’s terrific”
And his fame spread throughout Italy

Niccolo Paganini, he had a dream
And in that dream he wrote a cute little themeIt was a real mean theme
A theme de la crème
And everybody said he is a gen-i-us

In 1981 a chap with a cello
Played Paganini’s theme and made it sound less mellow
One day he chanced to play the theme to his mother
She said, “You should discuss this with your talented brother”.

And so the Lloyd-Webber boys, Julian and Andrew
Re-arranged the theme and added sounds that were brand new
When they added a beat it sounded a treat
And they cried, “Eureka, we have got a hit !”
A man from the television on the South Bank
Said I don’t want to Bragg but I’ll be Earnest and Frank (speak: “Well nothing really rhymes with Melvin”)
As a signature tune
It would be quite a boon
And they all shook hands and went off for a pint

Long live Paganini
They re-arranged his theme a teeny weeny
They thought it an improvement
Especially in the first and second movement
So Andy didn’t hesitate or suffer any qualms
He only did what had been done by Schumann, Liszt and Brahms
If they could do it then why shouldn’t he ?

Paganini’s theme
It’s really a dream
You know what I mean
A theme de la crème

Jazz and Rock fans thought it quite a rave
But some critics said, “That ain’t no way to behave
Paganini would turn in his grave
If he were alive today”

So go find a little old tune by Chopin, Verdi or Liszt
And if you can, work out a plan
To give that theme a new twist
Then add a really strong beat
That knocks you right off your feet
Add words by some fellow
Like Elvis Costello
And like the Lloyd-Webbers you’ll join the elite END
Copyright Don Read